It Just Has To Happen

I’ve said it a bunch, even said “I really mean it this time,” but this time I really do mean it and really am motivated to get back to my walking routine. Read about what happened on Blogabetes.

You Know You’re Sick When…

…you need a specific pair of socks to get out of the house. And I should mention that the socks I needed this morning don’t even match my clothes. But I was feeling so puny that I needed my pink squiggly socks to get me through the day.

I had a scratchy throat yesterday that clued me in to the possibility of a sickness, but I really thought I’d avoid it since I’ve had at least one round of cold/flu crap this season. And then last night as I was getting the kids ready for bed it hit me. I laid down in bed while No. 2 was in the shower and stayed there all night–in my clothes, mind you. The sheets had been washed earlier in the day and The Mr. said I wouldn’t even get up to help him put the clean sheets on the bed.

Fortunately, my sugars aren’t really being affected. I’m on day 4 of my site, had cereal for breakfast and chocolate chip cookies for “snack” and I’m doing really well. (Yes, I’m feeling so rotten that I had to totally deter from my regular meals by eating Frosted Flakes and Grandma’s Cookies.) Also fortunate–especially since I got absolutely nothing accomplished last night, which made tonight’s To-Do List twice as long–is that I’m feeling better as the day goes on.

A Cure and California

The “c” word. That’s right, I’m talking about a cure. Read it here.

I’m almost like a new patient thinking about all the supplies I need to take with me on my June trip to California. Catch up here.

Emotional Drainage

It’s kind of like post-nasal drip. It just slowly drip, drip, drips until it builds up enough that you finally realize you have a big glob of snot in your throat.

We’re going through a lot at home. Nothing bad, just the beginning of a big life change. It can take its toll pretty quickly.

This is not the time for me to be skipping my anti-depressants. I learned a long time ago that even a day or two missed has consequences down the line. I’d notice my mood making a dramatic shift either days or weeks later and I typically attributed it to a day when I skipped the Prozac.

It’s always an accident; I don’t skip on purpose. In the past, it was all about location. Based on where I put the pill bottle, I tended to easily forget to take the medicine every morning. Now, again based on location, I never miss a day. That is unless I’m sick, which is what happened last weekend. I took my last pill on a Friday fully intending to go to the pharmacy the next morning. Well, the next morning I got sick. Didn’t make it to the pharmacy the next morning either. So two days without Prozac.

You wouldn’t think it would make that much of a difference, but it does. The Mr. continues to ask what’s wrong and there’s nothing specific, it’s just an overall funk.

This is not doing good things for my blood sugar. Because when I’m tired, cranky and generally drained, I eat. A lot.

Hot Pursuit Over

I have decided that, at least for now, I will not pursue the CGMS anymore. Read about the denial letter I received and my thoughts on the situation at Blogabetes.

No Surprise

Insurance denied my CGMS claim. Again.

Get the details from Blogabetes.

Are You Keeping Up?

Yesterday’s Blogabetes post is about how important variety is to diabetes management. Read it here.

I Gave Up

I was really excited about that book-writing project I told you about two weeks ago. My excitement didn’t last very long.

I don’t like to give up, I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong, I don’t like to back down from a challenge, but that’s exactly what I’ve had to do. I wanted to finish that book–for the satisfaction of knowing I could do it, for the exposure, for what it may do for my writing future. But I just can’t. I kept looking at the empty places in this book that needed to be filled out and feeling so overwhelmed. I continued to look at the research materials the publisher sent to me for guidance, and found almost nothing of use for this book.

One-third of this book was written by someone established in the field being written about. While I’m a hobbiest in that field, I by no means have any experience with marketing, tax forms and knowing how likely a person in this field is to get sued. The book was mostly in first-person, the tone was not mine. Perhaps it would be different if I had started it from the ground up, but I couldn’t grab on to this project and run with it. I thought I could, but I can’t.

I hate backing down, but I did. I’ve left the door open–I sent the project editor an email explaining my problems and asking for direction or advice. I’ve essentially left the ball in her court, but hopefully she’ll realize that what I’m really trying to do is bow out gracefully.

A good thing, though, has come out of this. It didn’t take long to solidify my thought that writing this kind of book is definitely not up my alley.

I Shouldn’t Have To Worry About Things Like This

Right now I’m staring at a yellow piece of paper. It’s a sign-up sheet for spring soccer at the local YMCA. No. 1 has already expressed no interest in soccer. No. 2, though, has said she wants to play.

I try not to discourage my children from doing anything, especially anything new. But I just don’t know how dedicated she’ll be to soccer, which she has never seen played nor ever played. I’m not even sure she knows what a soccer ball looks like. Is this a sad commentary on my mom skills? No, football and baseball are more popular in our house.

If she had asked me to sign her up for a daily ballroom dancing class, I would have no question that she’d be able to stick with it. But soccer?

OK, so I can hear you saying, but Michelle how will she know if she likes it if you don’t let her try? You’re totally right. And this is part of the cunundrum that I’m in. No. 2 is five and I feel like in this point of a five-year-old’s life there is (on one hand) a ton of learning to do and (on another hand) too much concept and strategy in organized sports.

Last summer, when No. 1 was 7, was the first year we allowed No. 1 to play organized sports. Baseball. Ah how we love baseball in our house (go Cards!). Living in a small town, we went with the only baseball league around. The kids on No. 1’s team were roughly between the ages of 7 and 9. Some of these kids had years–YEARS!–of experience. My son, however, was the one in right field picking daisies.

He loved it and I felt like it was a wonderful experience for him. The whole point, I thought, was to have fun. They’re first graders–save the competition for high school. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he missed out on some crucial learning because we didn’t sign him up for T-ball when he was 3 and let him work his way up.

So here I am, with No. 2 at 5, wondering if I can offer more sports structure to my daughter by starting earlier. She already goes to ballet once a week, and, frankly, would go eight days a week if there were such a thing here for five year olds.

For a while, we had a rule in our house: No organized sports until first grade because they can’t grasp the concepts nor do they have the attention span at any younger age. I think I’ve talked myself into ditching that rule.

Shaping the Future

I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’ve had to create a points-and-reward system for the kids. And I hate that I have to do it.

I am a responsible person and believe that I’ve always been that way. I’m sure there were times in my childhood when I didn’t do what I was supposed to, but for the most part I think I’ve always been the kind of person who could be counted on. I believe I’m one of those people who gets things done because they have to get done not because I’ll get something (other than the satisfaction of a job well done) in return.

No. 1 is 8 and No. 2 is 5. They are old enough to incur some responsibilities around the house. I believe that these are crucial ages to instill responsbility in the kids and to let them know that there is no free ride. Perhaps I’m old fashioned or too strict, but that’s the way I am.

I’ve struggled for a long time with how to separate chores you do because you’re part of the family and they need to get done and chores you do that you can get paid for. At this point, their chores are all the ones that you do because you’re part of this family. I couldn’t justify giving an allowance when (a) we buy the kids nearly everything the need and (b) when the things I ask them to do are pretty easy and age-appropriate.

At the same time, they need to be recognized for their efforts so they do understand the value of a reward and a job well done. So I’ve lamented and created a system that awards points for certain jobs; a certain number of points earned equals a reward. For No. 1, who seems to be having some issues at school, he will have a separate points system for the classroom.

I feel almost like a failure as a mother because it has come to this, but reality tells me that I’m actually a good mom for realizing that this system needs to be implemented.

What do you do for your kids? How do you encourage them to be responsible little people?